Being Adamantly Unmarried
I, for one, get a little giddy every time I have the opportunity to check the “Single” box on any type of form. It’s my own personal breath of fresh air, since no matter what type of fiery hell that form is for – usually insurance or taxes – at least I know I’m not that old yet. Since when did 23 become an appropriate age to tie the knot? Oh right, it didn’t. Hey KIDS (notice my emphasis there) – there’s no rush. It’s beautiful and wonderful that you found the person you can spend the rest of your life beside, but then it begs the question, if you already found him or her and you’re absolutely positive he/she is “the one”, why do you have to do anything now? You have the rest of your lives.
Marriage does not guarantee commitment. Marriage does not guarantee life-long happiness. I could go into the long list of statistics piled up against KIDS our age getting married, but I don’t think I even have to go there. It’s just common sense. ENJOY YOUR FREAKING YOUTH, PEOPLE. It doesn’t last long.
We are so young. And most of the time, our lives are nothing more than messy drunken disasters, but they’re our messy drunken disasters. This is the time meant for same-sex roommates and spending so much money on that awesome pair of jeans that you have to live off of pickles and string cheese in order to make rent. This is the time for making new friends and saving potential hook-ups in your phone as “Guy from Snuggery” because you’ve blacked out his name as well as the majority of your Saturday night. This is the time for small paychecks and big memories. This is the time for travel. We are about as attached to one location as we are to our favorite Chinese take-out place. We know what we like about it, and we take comfort in the familiarity, but that’s about it.
Even more importantly, these are the last years of our lives that we can still pass as college kids (a.k.a publicly acceptable idiots). If we don’t take advantage of that loop hole in society’s judgments, we are going to seriously regret it as soon as time takes its inevitable toll on our tight asses and smooth faces.
We are just so, so, sososo, SO young. I obviously can’t speak for anyone else, and to all of you 20-something-and-married souls out there, I truly wish nothing but worlds of happiness for you and your spouse. But as for me, I am so fucking head-over-heels, crazy, out-of-my-mind, IN FREAKING LOVE with being UNMARRIED that I genuinely can’t even create a picture in my mind of a time when I would want to take the plunge. I’ve never thought of baby names; I can’t imagine my dress; I don’t know “what time of the year matches my skin tone best,” or any of that other bride stuff. I like my life how I like it, and adding another name to my lease would seriously mess up my mojo. I’m not ready to be another human being’s emergency contact…I can barely keep track of my cell phone.
But besides all the “I just wanna have fun” stuff, in all seriousness, I’m not entirely sure I’m done growing and changing as a person. And, if I know anything at all, it’s this. You can’t learn anything more about who you are when you’ve dedicated your life to someone else.